Take it on the Chin
WRITTEN BY DREW MATZ
How to Gracefully Receive Criticism
“Jesus knows of our rejection by the world first hand – having experienced it himself. ”
Let’s face it, nobody likes to be criticized. While there has been an abundant amount of ink spilled on how to talk to others in a graceful way, many are left wondering how we are to take criticism with grace and gratitude – without becoming angry and defensive, which, undoubtedly, leads to trouble in our marriages, friendships, and other relationships in our lives. However, the Bible gives us some insight into how we should deal with harsh words and how to respond to such things.
There are actually two kinds of criticism. One type is fair and just, while other types are unjust, mean-spirited, and cruel.
Just Criticism
One of the best places we can turn to in the Old Testament to learn how to deal with criticism, is the book of Proverbs. Here, we find a plethora of teaching about the relationship of criticism and wisdom. Over and over again, Solomon warns us not to reject criticism – but to embrace it:
“Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.” (9:9)
“Whoever ignores instruction despises himself,
but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.” (15:32)
“Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction,
but whoever heeds reproof is honored.” (13:18)
Thus, we can see that the ability to handle criticism is integral to our development into wise and capable adults. It demonstrates our ability to learn and overcome the things about ourselves that are keeping us from growing mentally, physically, and spiritually. When we get defensive, we rarely are able to learn from our own mistakes, and can lead to a sense of arrogance and pride which can damage our relationships with others. This is especially true in our vocations as spouses, church members, and employees.
Unjust Criticism
Some of Jesus’ richest teaching comes from his instruction on how to distinguish between constructive and unjust criticism and how to respond. In fact, he tells us that following him will absolutely result in being criticized and ridiculed by the world:
“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. ”
In this beatitude, Jesus alludes to the reality of what it means to be a member of his Church in a fallen world. To be his follower is to participate in his life of sacrificial service, which often has a cost of being hated by the world. However, he beckons us to keep things in perspective – their harshness is actually a blessing in disguise, for Jesus knows of our rejection by the world first hand – having experienced it himself. Thus, when we are criticized unjustly, we strive to put away the impulse to return evil with evil, but with good (Mt 5:43-47).
