Repentance in the 21st Century

Protecting Your Marriage from Modern Temptation

WRITTEN BY DREW MATZ

We live in the age of information. Technological progress has helped to spread the Gospel to the ends of the Earth. It gives us more efficient transportation, better medical care, and a whole host of other conveniences. Yet, this rise in technology comes with a sinister catch. Instant gratification and discreet communication to others via social media increases our temptation in ways our ancestors likely never imagined.

Each generation, Christians are fighting the same battle but in new ways. Even though our external world is subject to constant change, our hearts remain unchanged. Whatever sinful desires that were present in ancient times are simply repackaged with a prettier, more sophisticated bow. Take for instance the problem of marital infidelity. Now, we can strike up conversations and relationships by simply reaching into our pockets and pulling out our smartphones. What used to require a significant amount of effort is now available at the click of a button. It seems to be the case that online infidelity is becoming more prominent as access to social networking continues to proliferate.[1] No shortage of Christian marriages have been ransacked due to the temptations that come with social media technology. And make no mistake, those marriages don’t make a distinction between the physical and virtual affair. The pain and damage is all the same in the end, whether physical infidelity has occurred or not.

Jesus gives us insight into this. He teaches that the act of physical adultery is actually a symptom of a deeper issue. Like all sin that we commit, infidelity is not rooted in external actions, but finds its origin in the heart (Matt 5:31-31). It is an aspect of the sickness we inherited from the fall of our first parents. Thus, for Christian marriages, the question of the manner of the sin should not be the focus. Without dealing with the issues rooted in the heart, it matters little if we act on our desires if we are constantly being tempted outside of marriage. We must examine ourselves. God’s commandment against adultery is not simply an arbitrary rule, but is a mirror by which we see the reflection of our hearts, not just our deeds (Rm 3:20).

Implications

This problem of correlation between the rise in technology and rise in infidelity is an interesting question for both pastors and counselors. What is most likely assumed today is that because Jesus teaches that adultery is warranted grounds for divorce (Matt 19:9), the same principle would also apply in this case.

Marital situations are all unique, however. Clarity is not always attainable. What God does expect is that we read and consider his word carefully and prayerfully apply the wisdom gleaned within to the situations that arise in our lives. Solomon is correct when he says, “Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways” (Pv 4:26). The scriptures are not written for lawyers to find loopholes. God’s word actually does something to our hearts. It causes us to change, to repent and turn back to him.

Thus, it is always a good idea for the spouse in sin to turn away from his temptations and seek forgiveness. What really must be guarded against at all costs is the tendency for sins to become chronic and addictive. Because of this danger, it is best for the aggrieved spouse to seek out pastoral counsel and godly laypersons to determine if the marriage is salvageable without doing further damage to the souls of those involved in the marriage.

[1] Chalabi, M. (2015, July 26). Sorting through the numbers on infidelity. Interview by R. Martin. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/2015/07/26/426434619/sorting-through-the-numbers-on-infidelity