Fairweather Friends

WRITTEN BY DREW MATZ

Three Proverbs on Friendship

Friendship is one of the most fundamental aspects of human nature. Indeed, the relationships that we share with one another is often considered a fundamental aspect for what it means to be human. Most of us have cultivated fruitful friendships for which we consider ourselves blessed. Yet there are also those instances where the relational dynamic of the friendship is skewed or exploited, and one or both parties end up getting hurt. Fortunately, God has given us a portrait of true friendship in his word and ultimately in the life and ministry of the person of Jesus Christ.

Here we will explore five excerpts from the book of Proverbs on the nature of friendship:

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

-Proverbs 17:17

For most of us, we have many people in our lives who we would consider acquaintances. These may be our co-workers, neighbors, and fellow church-goers. Yet most of us would also make a distinction between those with whom we are familiar and those we consider our friends. While we may enjoy the company of acquaintances, we know there is something far more intimate when it comes to our true friendships. Here, Solomon gives us insight into this distinction. We can know we have a true friend who is there for us when we need support.

Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways  and entangle yourself in a snare.

-Proverbs 22:24-25

There are instances where well-intentioned friendships can become abusive, even inadvertently. In these circumstances, it is important for us to set boundaries for ourselves and be able to discern manipulative behavior. In these situations, friendships can become toxic and exploitative, especially if drugs or addictions are involved, where tempers can flare. Because Paul tells us that “Bad company ruins good morals” (1 Cor 15:33), we must be able to recognize when there may be a situation that we are not equipped to handle. In this case, we should speak earnestly with our friend, pray for them, and offer to help find a professional who may be able to help.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

-Proverbs 27:6

Friendships are often valuable for their ability to help us improve our character. Especially in Christian friendships, where accountability is necessary, having close friends can help to keep us from falling into sin and can call us back to course when we stumble off the path. This is why the Proverb tells us that these rebukes or “wounds” are faithful. This friend is concerned more for your soul than anything else, whereas “kisses” of an enemy does not have any long term vision other than what he can glean from the friendship. Thus, we must pray for discernment to understand how to recognize the distinction between the two.

Iron Sharpens Iron

These are simply a few wise words from Solomon on what we should look for in a friend. However, the Bible is full of great examples of friendships, and we should consult the whole counsel of God when we are looking for spiritual wisdom about friendships and the importance of friends in our lives.