Navigating Singleness

WRITTEN BY KATHRYN GUILD

In a world inundated with dating apps and matchmaking reality TV shows, it’s easy to believe that the life of a single adult should be spent trying to find the perfect match. 

This idea that romantic relationships are the epitome of relational success is also perpetuated amongst Christian circles . Sure, we talk about the importance of dating with intentionality and discuss the necessity of being equally yoked, but what happens to those of us who aren’t currently in the dating game and aren’t even close to being “yoked” at all? 

Unfortunately, the enemy has used the lies of pop culture to divert our eyes from real purpose God has for singleness in the lives of His children. In order to find complete contentment and fulfillment in singleness, we must first understand God’s purpose for this intentional season.

So what is God’s purpose for singleness?

Singleness in itself is yet another way for the believer to live as someone “set apart” for God’s mission. Paul explains in his first letter to the Corinthians that the life of a single believer should be one of undivided focus to God’s mission.

“ I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord… An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit…” 1 Corinthians 7:32-34. 

What Paul is describing is a deep, dedicated relationship to God; One that transcends the body and fully engages the spirit of the believer. 

You may be wondering, though, why this cannot be achieved by the married Christian. Paul, again, explains that the married believer must not only respond to the demands of God but also to the requests of his or her spouse. This is because marriage itself is a mission; one meant to serve as a reflection of Christ and His unconditional love for His bride, the Church. 

Singles, however, also play a necessary role in Christ’s mission to love Him and His people wholeheartedly in light of what He has done for us.

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; you had not received mercy,

but now you have received mercy.” 1 Peter 2:9-10.

God has set the believer apart to proclaim His Gospel to a world filled with darkness. Because the single Christian is not divided in attention to both God and Spouse, he or she can live out God’s mission with undivided intentionality.

But what does this look like? Put simply, the single Christian must love with intensity. We are called to deeply fall in love with God and fall in love with His people.  

Jesus simply explains it in Matthew chapter 22.

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’8 This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-38

This type of love, is one that we are to choose — and joyfully so. It is easy to begrudgingly “pick up our cross” for the sake of Christ’s mission, but what God truly wants is a sacrifice of praise amidst our singleness. 

The apostle Paul knew this reality to the point of imprisonment and chains, yet lived a life of joyful devotion to Christ and the Church. How did Paul, amidst unbearable conditions, find joy and contentment? He explains in Philippians 4 that it is in Christ alone that He finds His strength.

“ I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13. 

If we are to truly live as a chosen people, set apart by God, we must engage with this uncomfortable space where cultural discontentment and God’s mission intersect. We must choose to trust God’s plan for the single Christian, rather than the world’s call to find sufficiency in romantic partnerships.

“I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.” John 17:15-18

The life of singleness is not one of incompletion, but is one of edifying relationship to Christ and the world.